Thursday, December 18, 2008 . 1:16 AM
I've been starting to hate the word 'deserve' lately when one uses it in the negative, condemning sense, in that it is really just an additional way to impose views and thoughts onto someone else. It is, by very definition, a generalist word of personal measure, which says absolutely nothing on it's own, for it is really impossible for there to be a universal definition encompassing everyone's views of who should deserve what and not. Poetic justice is one attempt at it, but even so, it's merely popular morals and beliefs taken form, which not everyone agrees with. I hate the dramatic perversions of it by some people to fit poetic justice for their needs, though. For example,"You deserve to die for killing my daughter"
is pretty much fine and accepted thinking for many people, having firm foundations in the idea of revenge as a form of justice, as popularized in Shakesphere, popular belief, and Hollywood. And
But things like...
"I think your method of studying sucks and you don't deserve as many marks as the person who does things the conventional way, even though practice seems to say otherwise."
"You didn't sign up for Math Remedial while the smartest guy in class did! You deserve to get very low marks this exam"
"You have no outside interest for maths outside of textbook syllabus, you're only doing this for bland necessity, and obviously, you don't deserve to get as high as me.
"You took the shortcut around the mountain while I had to climb to the peak, endure dangerous perils, mosquitoes, avalanches, frostbite, and an amputated arm. I don't care about what you think, the fact remains that I endured more suffering while you hardly suffered any; obviously I [b]deserve[/b] to win the race more than you do. Because suffering is good. "
... are things I really find issue with, especially the above two. Who speaks for the perpertrator? Himself! Whose views that blind suffering and effort should always prevail over a good sense direction are they? The person speaking! Then why use the word 'deserve' to signal softly, the empty chorus of a hundred voices backing the person up? Why use the word 'deserve' to signal a dark omen, a dark presence waiting to smite people down for the 'sins' they have caused? It is so offensively dumb, that I don't know what else to say, and I hate it especially when I'm used in front of the word itself. It is used as a balloon for closed-minded people to scare people and play offensive, but such fascades wouldn't (and shouldn't) last for long, for a balloon is forever far smaller than it seems.
So yeah, emphasize the "me and myself feel that you deserve to die in a smelly pit" aspect of any such condemnation instead of words such as 'deserve' now. I'm not really speaking of religion and more obvious moral sensitivities among the public, I'm speaking of things that are obviously legal, obviously alright and acceptable, that people can't stand due to jealousy, emotional impassioned fervor, or simple hatred, resorting to eupherisms such as 'deserve' to push forward their point without much reason. Also, I'm sad for no reason, but yay, got that out of my system.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008 . 3:06 PM
When you spend the entire afternoon doing Kakuro puzzles and eating fruitcake, being unable and unwilling to do anything you would normally like to do, you know that you're pretty much in despair. You think of some people (not just one) and well, you start to have an inferiority complex, that you're not much to many people, that you're just someone insignificant drifiting in the wind, important only to yourself and nothing else.You start feeling that, despite all your achievements, all your notecharts, your stories, your music, your compositions, you almost feel as if you would like to burn them all in order to say, be better friends with many people, and that... you might be annoying a certain number of people. You have a yearning for having better rapport with lots of people; this year has told me that most of your worth is measured by how others value you. I feel as if I'm quite peniless.
You then start to see ghosts and phantoms everywhere. Perhaps, he hates you, perhaps she's not too happy about what you did yesterday, perhaps you were a bit too arrogant, too ignorant about some minor detail and that people are not your friend anymore. A few people have forsaken me because I have recurring diseases of the personality, which leads to quarantine and death in solitude. You then start thinking deeply, and after awhile, the most absurd of hypotheses seem to make sense.
People have told me, time and time again, that the best thing to do in this case is absolutely nothing. It seems kind of paradoxical, in almost all other cases, it's almost always good to do something. So sometimes, I kind of find myself unable to stop myself, so I start typing something long, inflammatory, and jump to conclusion-ey against someone I find vague issue with.
Then when I'm about to press send, you then remember what that person has done for you. Not great in magnitude or number, but sincere at heart. Perhaps he/she doesn't hate you after all. You then decide to talk to him/her for awhile, and you find out that everything is fine.
This happens once in a fortnight for me. It's a neverening cycle, and I'm pretty much sick of it. Wish I could cure myself. (pun)
Sunday, December 7, 2008 . 11:12 PM
I have been playing this little group game on various forums throughout the last three months, on and off due to promos and such. Well, it's very interesting, and I'm pretty much hooked on it and intending to spread out to some friends.Do refer to this flash...
Here
I'm sure that some people might have played this as a party game and such, but the forum version's a little different. In the live version, I guess it's pretty much more of looking at faces and guilty reactions than analyzing arguments, but in the forums, it's pretty much a different ball game altogether. There is substantial theory published about the game... and it's a great test of argumentative skill, blending into territory, and all sorts of things.
Basically, the game is as follows. There are two groups of people, town and mafia. Mafia know who they are, while townies don't. The aim of the Mafia is to kill enough townies for themselves to form a majority, while that of town is to eliminate all mafia. During the day phase, everyone discusses, with townies trying to confirm themselves and push lynches on who they think is scum by voting, and scum trying to hide. There are various arguments to do this. After a majority of votes is formed, the person is lynched and his identity revealed. Then during the night phase, scum will night kill one of the townies. This goes on, I guess... Of course, there are plenty of variations, but this is the basic game. Ho well... yeah.
Also, I got more music scores. Quite happy with that.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008 . 11:18 PM
Crawl is an interesting rouge-like dungeon crawl game which I have been toying around with for the past few days. Here's my best run so far.---
6829 Dazzaqui the Slicer (level 10, -9/67 HPs)
Began as a Sludge Elf Assassin on Dec 1, 2008.
Killed from afar by an electrical eel (12 damage)
... with a bolt of electricity
... on Level 13 of the Dungeon.
The game lasted 02:18:33 (15342 turns).
Dazzaqui the Slicer (Sludge Elf Assassin) Turns: 15342, Time: 02:18:33
HP -9/67 AC 11 Str 10 Exp: 10/9097 (1), need: 214
MP 14/14 EV 16 Int 16 God: No God
Gold 462 SH 0 Dex 20 Spells: 1 memorised, 10 levels left
Res.Fire : . . . See Invis. : . R - +2,+3 short sword
Res.Cold : . . . Warding : . C - +3 leather armour
Life Prot.: . . . Conserve : . (no shield)
Res.Poison: . Res.Corr. : + o - +0 helmet
Res.Elec. : . Clarity : . d - -1 elf cloak
K - +3 pair of gloves of Traecat
Sust.Abil.: . Rnd.Telep. : . (no boots)
Res.Mut. : . Ctrl.Telep.: . s - amulet of resist corrosion
Res.Slow : . Levitation : . L - ring of wizardry
Saprovore : . . . Ctrl.Flight: . r - +2 ring of intelligence
@: somewhat resistant to magic, very stealthy
A: Dex +1
a: no special abilities
You were on level 13 of the Dungeon.
You were not hungry.
You visited 2 branches of the dungeon, and saw 15 of its levels.
Inventory:
Hand weapons
a - a +1,+3 elven dagger
b - a +0,+0 elven blowgun
t - a +0,+0 hammer
u - a +0,+1 sling
w - a -1,+0 orcish short sword
D - a +0,+0 knife
G - a +0,+0 whip
R - a +2,+3 short sword (weapon)
T - a +0,+0 bow
Missiles
e - a poisoned +0 elven needle
i - 221 +0 stones
A - 19 poisoned +0 needles
Armour
c - a +1 elven robe
d - a -1 elven cloak (worn)
o - a +0 helmet (worn)
q - a +0 animal skin
z - a +0 pair of gloves
C - a +3 leather armour (worn)
K - the +3 pair of gloves of Traecat (worn)
(You found it on level 5 of the Dungeon)
It affects your accuracy (+3).
Magical devices
p - a wand of slowing (5)
Comestibles
k - 3 apples
n - a choko
v - a bread ration
y - a meat ration
Scrolls
g - a scroll of enchant weapon II
h - 3 scrolls of magic mapping
j - 2 scrolls of remove curse
m - 2 scrolls of teleportation
B - a scroll of fear
Q - 3 scrolls of detect curse
V - a scroll of identify
Jewellery
f - an uncursed amulet of conservation
r - a +2 ring of intelligence (left hand)
s - an amulet of resist corrosion (around neck)
L - a ring of wizardry (right hand)
Potions
N - 2 potions of resistance
Books
l - a book of Hinderance
x - a book of Charms
You had 1 experience left.
Skills:
+ Level 7 Fighting
+ Level 10 Short Blades
+ Level 2 Darts
+ Level 10 Dodging
+ Level 8 Stealth
+ Level 3 Stabbing
+ Level 2 Traps & Doors
+ Level 1 Spellcasting
+ Level 3 Evocations
You had 10 spell levels left.
You knew the following spells:
Your Spells Type Power Success Level
a - Confusing Touch Ench #......... Very Good 1
Overview of the Dungeon
Branches:
Lair : D:9
Altars:
Beogh: D:11
Shops:
D:6: !
Innate Abilities, Weirdness & Mutations
You are agile (Dex +1).
Message History
The imp blinks.
The giant brown frog hits you!
* * * LOW HITPOINT WARNING * * *
The giant brown frog hits you but doesn't do any damage.
The electrical eel shoots out a bolt of electricity!
The bolt of electricity hits the slime creature.
The bolt of electricity hits you!
#############
............J.
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.............[..
.....5FJ........
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You could see an imp, four slime creatures, a giant brown frog, and an electrical eel.
Vanquished Creatures
2 giant brown frogs
A cyclops (D:12)
Donald (D:11)
2 hungry ghosts
A yak (D:11)
A necrophage (D:11)
3 ogres
5 big kobolds (D:7)
3 centaurs
3 ice beasts
3 phantoms
6 war dogs (Lair:2)
4 gila monsters
The ghost of Dazzaqui the Insei, an average SEMo (D:3)
A yellow wasp (D:11)
5 giant frogs
A brain worm (D:12)
4 brown snakes
5 orc warriors
5 killer bees (D:10)
A yaktaur zombie (D:11)
6 imps
5 hounds
4 orc priests
2 wights
A shadow (D:9)
4 orc wizards
3 scorpions
6 giant iguanas
Ijyb (D:8)
2 jellies
A worm (D:6)
A big kobold zombie (D:7)
A giant lizard zombie (D:8)
7 snakes
A giant mite (D:3)
An ooze (D:4)
2 giant eyeballs
4 giant cockroaches
8 giant geckos
17 goblins
17 grey rats
15 hobgoblins
4 jackals (D:9)
53 orcs
5 quokkas
19 giant bats
10 giant newts
A hobgoblin zombie (D:5)
18 kobolds
A kobold zombie (D:5)
11 rats
2 small snakes
A plant (D:11)
292 creatures vanquished.
Vanquished Creatures (others)
A hobgoblin (D:8)
4 orcs
A giant newt (D:5)
3 rats
9 creatures vanquished.
Grand Total: 301 creatures vanquished
Notes
Turn | Place | Note
--------------------------------------------------------------
0 | D:1 | Dazzaqui, the Sludge Elf Assassin, began the quest for the Orb.
0 | D:1 | Reached XP level 1. HP: 12/12 MP: 0/0
293 | D:1 | Reached XP level 2. HP: 17/18 MP: 1/1
1756 | D:2 | Reached XP level 3. HP: 25/26 MP: 2/3
2011 | D:2 | Reached skill 4 in Stealth
2810 | D:3 | Reached XP level 4. HP: 30/30 MP: 4/4
2885 | D:3 | Defeated Dazzaqui's ghost
2885 | D:3 | Reached XP level 5. HP: 28/34 MP: 5/5
4569 | D:5 | Entered Level 5 of the Dungeon
4597 | D:5 | Reached XP level 6. HP: 36/38 MP: 6/7
4615 | D:5 | Got a pair of bloodstained gloves
4618 | D:5 | Identified the +3 pair of gloves of Traecat (You found it on level 5 of the Dungeon)
4757 | D:5 | Reached skill 5 in Stealth
5428 | D:5 | Reached skill 5 in Dodging
5794 | D:6 | Reached XP level 7. HP: 44/44 MP: 8/8
5813 | D:6 | Reached skill 5 in Short Blades
6053 | D:6 | Reached skill 1 in Traps & Doors
6141 | D:6 | Reached skill 1 in Spellcasting
6152 | D:6 | Reached skill 1 in Evocations
6173 | D:6 | Reached XP level 8. HP: 47/48 MP: 10/11
6751 | D:7 | Reached skill 6 in Dodging
7048 | D:7 | Reached skill 7 in Dodging
7248 | D:7 | Reached XP level 9. HP: 45/57 MP: 12/13
7973 | D:8 | Reached skill 5 in Fighting
8401 | D:8 | Reached skill 8 in Short Blades
8526 | D:8 | Noticed Ijyb
8539 | D:8 | Defeated Ijyb
9628 | Lair:1 | Entered Level 1 of the Lair of Beasts
10140 | Lair:2 | Reached XP level 10. HP: 45/63 MP: 14/14
10271 | Lair:2 | Reached skill 9 in Short Blades
10693 | Lair:2 | HP: 1/65 [gila monster (12)]
10712 | Lair:2 | Gained mutation: You are agile (Dex +1).
11142 | Lair:1 | Learned a level 1 spell: Confusing Touch
11501 | D:10 | Entered Level 10 of the Dungeon
12871 | D:11 | Noticed Donald
13405 | D:11 | Reached skill 10 in Short Blades
13417 | D:11 | Defeated Donald
13534 | D:11 | Reached skill 10 in Dodging
15341 | D:13 | HP: 3/67 [giant brown frog (9)]
15342 | D:13 | Killed from afar by an electrical eel
---
Yes, this is a game where you can die when luck turns against you. I never knew that an electric eel could shoot out electric bolts, but nooo, it did and did a huge amount of damage. It's rather classic (we're talking about 1980s), but these kind of games have the strategic depth and openess that RPGs nowadays usually do not possess (yes, even Final Fantasy).
So there you have it. Do search it up on wikipedia, if you're interested.
Labels: Games
